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So I was supposed to have my freak nasty party a few weeks ago, but since my grandfather had been sent to the hospice house and I needed to go home and see him, we decided to reschedule. Well, I had rescheduled it to this Saturday, but now everyone is busy and shit. So there it goes, afuckinggain. UGHHHHH. I'm in such a pissy mood now. I was actually looking forward to it. And now, I have absolutely nothing to do this weekend, so it's going to seriously suck so much fucking cock. I'm so pissed off. Grrrrrrrrrr. I'm too spontaneous for back up plans. But you know what? Lately, everytime I try to plan something, the shit doesn't work out. It's never on me either. My friends suck ass. In fact, I use that word lightly. Last weekend, I kind of found out who my friends are. You may not know me as a nice person, but to my friends.. I would give the world. It really hurts me when people treat me less than I would them. I really needed my friends there; I really needed that shoulder. But let me tell you something, I didn't get shit. If I had a friend who was in the same situation, I WOULD be there for them. I'd call & make sure they were ok, give them a visit, do whatever. Why was nobody here to do that for me? You'r probably thinking that it was just my grandfather passing away, so it's not a big deal. Well, there's where you're wrong. My grandfather meant the world to me, in fact, he took a huge part in raising me. I respect him far more than I could ever respect my own Dad. So losing him was like losing a parent. I'm not being unappreciative for those who were there.. I can count about 3 and it probably isn't you. Are we so busy with our own lives that we can't take the time to make sure a friend is doing okay? That's what I thought.