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I used to love the thrill of the chase..

Let me just say I love Jocey so freaking much. She always keeps it real with me, even if it's not what I want to hear. Sometimes I really just need someone to give it to me like she does. She always has my best interest at heart and I love her to death for that.

Back to the first part. I'm sure that everyone has experienced 'the chase' at least once in their lives. If not, I pity and envy you at the same time. It starts off fun. You really think that person is worth fighting for and the act of actually trying to get their attention is exciting. After a while, it starts to get old. You're only gonna chase someone for so long before you get bored and tired. Maybe that's my issue. I'm always chasing. Shit, I wanna be chased. But I know for a fact that I wouldn't just stop; I would purposely trip so he could not only catch me, but help me up. At the moment I feel like I'm being chased while chasing someone else. I can't make up my mind. One is perfect for me, the other I want so bad to be perfect. One is more of a physical thing and the other seems more than that. I definitely feel connected. Then again, I could be completely wrong. Maybe I'm not being chased, after all. I've already put myself out there and let him know how I feel.. I just don't know where he stands. Sometimes I feel completely ridiculous. Thoughts run through my head of "he doesn't like you" and "he probably tells this to every girl", but what do men expect? There has to be some reason why I'm not getting the same "I like you" that I gave him.

I'm sure I'm wasting my time, honestly. I know for sure I'm being chased by this guy from my hometown. He called me picky, but I honestly don't want to be with him. He's good for cuddling and kissing and neck biting, but I don't want him for anything more. That sounds horrible, but I can't help how I feel. I think I like to feel ... affectionate. Cuddling and all that, but never going as far as sex. For all I care, he can honestly chase me the rest of my life. I'm not only running, but hiding. Don't think I'm leading him on either because I'm not. We're not currently speaking to each other.

To be honest, that's really all that's currently on my mind. I have a math test tomorrow. I need to shower so I can study. I bought two new pairs of pj shorts at Old Navy today & the slippers I wanted so bad. They're so cute and warm. I'm just sitting here thinking about shit with my reindeer pj's, the faux fur hood on my hoodie up & my sweater boot slippers on. All I need is some hot chocolate and a Christmas movie. I suppose I'm done venting for now, though.

now stop & let me catch you already.

edit:
It's so funny how as soon as I mention the dude from home, he calls me. He hung up on me last Wednesday and all of a sudden he hits me up TODAY. Doesn't matter because I didn't pick up the phone. He left me a voicemail, which I finally checked. All it said was "Call me back when you get this". I was expecting an "I'm sorry for being a dickwad, please call me back because I miss you" in which case I STILL wouldn't call him back.